A Family Life Blog

Posts for Mom Time Category

Life In the fast lane on Mothers Day

Mom Time - Jenna - May 5, 2011

Earlier today I found myself scrubbing a toilet used by four boys as the Eagles hit Life In The Fast lane  came streaming in from the kitchen radio. At that exact moment I was running through the weeks tasks, one of which was the upcoming plans for Mothers Day.

How ironic that I was the one up to my elbows in, well I am not going to mention it here. But just trust me it wasn’t pretty. But seriously I am the one in the thick of mothering, and I am trying to plan out how to fit in all the things we have obligated ourselves to doing for our mothers. This while they sit happily in semi retirement wondering what time I will be arriving bearing gifts, neatly pressed grandchildren, and my husbands handyman services.

Don’t get me wrong I appreciate all that they have done. I beleive I have been expressing this for 30 years now. I don’t mind doing things for them, and of course I want to honor them. But for pete sakes at what point is it my Mothers Day?

I do not enjoy a husband that feels that it is his duty to accommodate me on Mothers Day, as I am not his mother. My kids are small, and while I love their home made gifts. The cereal in bed I have come to cherish over the last few years I wouldn’t trade for the world. That being said however I must state that  it seems no one is going to suddenly say ” happy mothers day Jenna, what is it that you would like to do today?” or ” gee how could we help you feel relaxed and loved today?”  It seems that the only one that is going to be doing that is me!

And what the heck is wrong with that any way? Why can’t we say” I love and honor you” to our moms with a card and maybe a small gift, then take the darn day to ourselves .  And why can’t our moms see this as well? Surely they were plagued with the same ill fate of being everything for everyone while sacrificing their own happiness.

I am not saying you should be selfish here but what is the point of the day if we don’t get to honor ourselves as moms if no one else is going to? I feel part of honoring yourself is giving place to your needs. So if a walk on the beach is what brings you peace than you should be able to do it and enjoy it. I feel like I am not able to enjoy this day that is suppose to be for recharging and honoring my efforts as a mother.

This mothers day I am making a declaration to honor our mothers with a card, a call, maybe even flowers. I will send them all the love and light I can each time I think of them on this day, and then I plan on doing as Liz Guilbert in Eat Pray Love advises, and dropping it. What I mean by this not that Iam not honoring them, rather I am going to give them their place and then unapologetically honor myself as a mother as well.

I am all for showing love, respect, and honor to the women in our lives that have raised us, been there for us, and still remain in our hearts. These moms deserve their praise. We deserve ours as well. You only live once and if no one is going to do it for you than honey you are going to have to do it for yourself. It may be planting your garden, or reading your book on the porch, a long run, a hot bath, or a fishing trip with the very boys that did such unspeakable things to your toilet just days before.

What ever it is that recharges you, please please please just to it this Mothers Day. Do it for me, do it for yourself, do it for the mother it will make you be on Monday. And for goodness sakes do it with out apology, with out shame, and like no one is watching. After all you are living life in the fast lane right now.  The pee covered, matted, brightly colored, messy, fast lane and it isn’t slowing down any time soon. So what better time moms!

From the bottom part of my heart to yours…..Happy Mothers Day Moms! Enjoy it! Really ENJOY it!

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Confessions of an almost ## year old.

Mom Time - Jenna - April 28, 2011

It’s true I am dangerously close to a big Birthday! I wont mention which one it is- let’s just say it’s the one where you realize you are really grown up, and this chaos in front of  you is in fact your life, for better or worse.

With the dawning of this new number I have found myself in a bit of a funk. I wouldn’t consider it a crisis but I would definitely classify it as a defining moment kind of time.  You see I am a mother of two, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend. I am a leader & business owner, wanna be writer, and self proclaimed chocolate lover.

Even with all those titles I have found myself longing for a purpose, something to attach myself to, and find joy in again. I have entered this state of OMG is this it? Is this my life? Did it peak and I missed it?  I cannot seem to snap myself out of it.

I have considered a hobby, purchased a musical instrument, toyed with the idea of a career change,and even tried to convince my husband we should have another baby. None of these things have panned out or filled the void. I am a women of faith but admit I am feeling a bit numb in that area as well.  It is as if I just cannot find any enthusiasm for anything anymore.

This most recent pre ## symptom is the most troubling because I am usually able to muster up enthusiasm for even the most minor activity. I am that girl that people go to because they know I will say not only yes, but hell yes to just about any task. Not only will I say yes but because of this crazy enthusiasm I  manage to blow the previous person in charge of said mundane task out of the water while doing it!  Not anymore I could just care less. Which for me is a major change.

So my question to my wonderful juggling mama readers is this…….

Is this as good as it gets? Is this normal? Did I simply burn myself out before ## so there is nothing left for the next ## years?

Of course we cannot completely reinvent ourselves when we are mothers with responsibilities, homes, careers, and obligations. So how do you find yourself again while keeping up with the day to day? How do you get back the joy you once had? The excitment for anything ? I am afraid that I will always be this way and just slip into a routine complacency dawning a period hair do, and grey sweats.  If you have lived this tale, and are not wearing sweat pants I want to hear from you. If you lived it and the out come is a life of heavy gray clothing then can you at least point me to the best place to purchase my own pair?  

:)

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Me Finding More Time…

Mom Time - Jenna - April 12, 2011

You have a sink full of dishes to wash, three loads of laundry to do, seventeen bills to pay, you’re not sure how many e-mails to answer, a big stack of novels on the nightstand you’d love to read, & zero-count them -zero minutes of free time.

That is the opening line from the book Find More Time by the productivity proLaura StackMBA, CSP  Of course this line spoke volumes to me as soon as I picked it up. Now all I have to do is find the time to finish it!

Sad I know, but it is what it is! I do aspire to finish this one soon, and have a wonderful report on how I have managed to get more done in the same time and be happier doing it. For now however I am trying to well…just get the firsts chapter done!

This seems to be a theme for me. I get to a spot where I am burnt out and tired. I find a self help book on parenting, business, diet, what have you & I cannot even find the time to read it. upon the rare occasion that I am able to skim my way through it I very rarely find the end of it. This of course only leaves me with checking out yet another must read life changing read.

Does anyone actually have success with this type of constant advise seeking? Does it ever pan out? or should I just be focusing on finding a way to add four more hours to the day in order to cram it all in?

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working in the new years resolutions

Mom Time, Things I wish I'd known - Jenna - December 29, 2010

When business is good that means you are busy. When your family is involved in all the activities they can handle, you are usually stretched to your limit. So when the New Year rings and you resolve to lose 10 lbs or write a new blog every day in a hasty midnight moment you better have a strategy to make it happen.

While I have broken nearly every resolution I ever made on New Years by some time in March. I have made a few work and I think these tips should help you do the same.

Be realistic with how much time you have in your day already.

Resolve to start small by making a small commitment and committing to a bigger one when that goal is met.

Don’t make the same resolution twice. It didn’t work last year and you know how easy it was to give in and you made it another year, so what’s the point.

Make it a family affair and get the whole gang involved. Something you can all do together will keep you all engaged and accoutable

Happy New Year & Good Luck

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Why I couldn’t pay for a Mani Pedi For The Holidays

Mom Time, Things I wish I'd known - Jenna - December 9, 2010

I was out running some errands this afternoon. I found myself all caught up on work & Christmas shopping and had an hour and a half to spare. I started thinking about all that I could do with this free time and it made my head spin. I am always looking for some me time in the maddnes of motherhood, small business ownership, and just plain life. I couldn’t decide so I closed my eyes and tried to remember what I would have done with all this free time way back when I wasn’t this crazed woman I am today.

Mind you I had to think for a good long while to get back that far, but eventually I did and the memory of sitting in a massage chair while a very nice Asian  man made my feet, and hands look like a work of art filled my mind. I could almost smell the aroma therapy oil in the water, and feel the warm bubbles on my tired feet. Lord only knows the last time I indulged in what now seems to be a lavish treat.

I opened my eyes, and peered down at my ravaged nails- chewed, broken , and worn. They showed an enormous amount of  evidence of neglect, and I was pretty sure if there was a social services for hands mine would be taken straight away to a better home. We wont even mention my poor feet hidden away in the dark confines of my last season Uggs !

So I turned the van around and headed to the salon. I was so excited at first but then I started to feel an unpleasant feeling of reason creep in and steel my well polished joy. I tried to shake it but it would not be thrown off. Maybe it was my speech I had just given my last client on budgeting and frivolous spending, or the do it yourself girl deep down that remodels bathrooms on her own screaming for attention . What ever it was I just in good conscious spend $50 on a mani pedi today.

lets just let it be know that I probably don’t have an extra sum of money just lying around waiting to be spent but, a few years ago I would have justified a treat for myself. Now I felt almost shameful to be indulging in such “unnecessary spending ” as I so plainly stated in posts and to clients in the past. What has happened to me? It is almost as if I would be more ashamed of being manicured now than I would be of being unmanicured two years ago.

So of course I sped past the salon and went into Target where I used a coupon to purchase a new purple nail polish for $2.04 ! Now I am planing a home mani pedi that will no doubt be less than what a trained Asian man could produce in under 30 min, but I will have no buyers remorse and will feel responsible and polishes all at the same time. I can’t help but feel a shift in myself due to our nations tough times as well as my own personal finances in the past few years, I can’t justify things like this even if I have the money now. I wonder is this is our turning point like the women before us of the great depression that now have 434 cans of beans in their cellar? While not so dramatic we will find a new way to define ourselves and the way we spend money?I am not sure I will ever be ok with being so loose with my money again? How about you?

Merry Christmas and happy home mani pedi!

-Jenna

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Just Do It

Mom Time, Momprenuer Balancing Act - Jenna - July 12, 2010

We have all seen the Nike adds telling us to just do it, but when it comes to me time I have a really hard time just doing it! I always have something else that needs done, someone that needs taken car of, or a looming deadline.

I am always in need of a break and some alone time ,but very seldom do I get it. So where does this leave me? Cranky, bitter, overweight, and just plain grumped out.  Of course this is super bad for just about everyone in my life. I am not myself and am so strung out that I am no good to anyone.

So how do you go from an all out living for everyone and everything but yourself kind of girl, to a journal writing, tea sipping, long walks to ponder kind of girl? Well I have no idea but I am trying very hard to hopefully find the girl that is lost somewhere in between.

I am not so silly as to think that this is going to come easy to me or that it is going to happen over night, but I have to find some balance between wigged out mom and lazy river mom. I am still very busy and have a lot on my plate so I have to get it all done, however it is one of my biggest fears to wake up one day and realize I worked it all away.

I guess the best any of us can do is just do it! Just take the famous slogan and apply it to our lives the best we can and pray for the best. I need my me time and I have to carve it out. It may not loo the same as yours but it heals my souls the best way for me. So don’t expect to have running be your me time if you hate to run, but Jane loves running and talks it up as the only thing that gets her through the day! yours could be anything you love.

So my advise for today juggling mamas, is this…..Find what you love and “Just Do It” or you will not have enough left to give to anyone else!

 

To be quiet and to be still are too very different things – Jacki Chan

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Mommy Tracked

Mom Time - Jenna - June 28, 2010

I don’t usually post book recommendations on this blog, however I am an avid reader & love books. Why the hesitation to recommend you may ask?

 I shy away from recommendations due to the fact that I am no respecter of authors, and will read anything on any subject. My reading  go’s in cycles . I may hit series every now & then, but I am in no way a genre specific reader.I find when I recommend a book people may get an impression of the kind of things I am into, so I try to avoid the pain and judgment that comes when someone thinks they know what you like, and in turn sends tons of stuff your way that is on a certain topic you have no interest in.  Then you are faced with either letting them carry on with the junk, or breaking their heart with the news that you could care less about vampires you just wanted to read Twilight to see what the fuss was about.

On the other hand nothing help me unwind better than a quiet place and a good book.

Any way……….

I did read a book a few weeks ago that was so perfect for busy moms that I had to share it! Mommy Tracked By Kate Gaskell !

Maybe it was the martini next to the toy on the front cover that got me or the tag line “Even moms need a time out”  but something made me pick this one up & I am glad I did.
This book is the tale of  4 moms all with different walks, mothering styles, and parenting experience. The four are friends and the book fallows each’s story as they all intertwine to one novel.

I loved this book as, I do all books that I stick my neck out to recommend, because it was well written! In a funny, quick whit , practical humor that you would only understand if you are a mom! Therefor I highly recommend it to my Juggling Mama readers. It is a quick read, and if you are a busy mom I am sure you will find one or more of the moms in this book to identify with.

Whitney also has four other titles in her pocket. One of which Pushing Thirty is very cute, and I just started it. So grab a martini, pick up this book & enjoy!

Jenna

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Real Simple Bonding

Kids & Family, Mom Time - Jenna - May 21, 2010

This day in age we can’t just take our kids on a shopping spree or out to dinner all the time to bond. Families are on the look for ways to have fun and pinch pennies. but lets face it movies at home can get boring and game night can lose it’s punch pretty quick.

But we still have to save our money and we don’t want to give up the bonding time. So here are a few ways we keep it fresh & frugal around our house!

Theme night! >>> Theme dinner, games, and movies after each of your kids fav things such as hot dogs, field of dreams, and backyard t-ball. Or do a disco fever night with John T and disco ball cupcakes. The sky is the limit!

Camp out! >>>>Take the fun out doors or just out to the living room. Throw out bed time and blow up the air mattress. Just have fun all night with each other no rules just giggles! Or take your movie to the deck and a projector screen.

 

Take out at home:) >>>>>>> Try your favorite restaurant foods at home. Get the family in the kitchen and cook together. You save money by buying and prepping your own food & the time spent cooking is bonding seasoned with love!

Need some more ideas? http://familytime.com/ has tons!imagesca0r4k64

So enjoy your family this spring . It’s not hard & it doesn’t have to be expensive. Kids need all of you and nothing more.

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Swim time = me time

Mom Time - Jenna - July 1, 2009

My husband got us a new pool for the back yard. It is a pop up one about 8 feet across &  3 feet deep. It was on killer sale & our boys are water bugs. however I had my reservations since our youngest son is only two & cannot be in the pool with out his life vest and a parent. This means I can’t just send the boys out to play & go about my work checking in on them via the kitchen window. I have to be out there with the baby to make sure he doesn’t go in :)

At first this idea kind of concerned me, but I soon realized that if I have to be the parent standing guard I guess I have to focus only on my kids & joining in their summer adventures, Or tanning with a book with in arms reach is always an option.  I have rally enjoyed our new pool & my life guard duty.

If left to my own device I would have worked this summer away too, not really participating in the everyday that I have with my boys, in this warm magical season we call summer!

My advise go outside & experience summer withyour kids if you can. you wont regret it. I promise

-Jenna

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Saying I like today…..

Mom Time - Jenna - June 26, 2009

The only thing between  me & my skinny jeans are my excuses !

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