It’s true I am dangerously close to a big Birthday! I wont mention which one it is- let’s just say it’s the one where you realize you are really grown up, and this chaos in front of you is in fact your life, for better or worse.
With the dawning of this new number I have found myself in a bit of a funk. I wouldn’t consider it a crisis but I would definitely classify it as a defining moment kind of time. You see I am a mother of two, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend. I am a leader & business owner, wanna be writer, and self proclaimed chocolate lover.
Even with all those titles I have found myself longing for a purpose, something to attach myself to, and find joy in again. I have entered this state of OMG is this it? Is this my life? Did it peak and I missed it? I cannot seem to snap myself out of it.
I have considered a hobby, purchased a musical instrument, toyed with the idea of a career change,and even tried to convince my husband we should have another baby. None of these things have panned out or filled the void. I am a women of faith but admit I am feeling a bit numb in that area as well. It is as if I just cannot find any enthusiasm for anything anymore.
This most recent pre ## symptom is the most troubling because I am usually able to muster up enthusiasm for even the most minor activity. I am that girl that people go to because they know I will say not only yes, but hell yes to just about any task. Not only will I say yes but because of this crazy enthusiasm I manage to blow the previous person in charge of said mundane task out of the water while doing it! Not anymore I could just care less. Which for me is a major change.
So my question to my wonderful juggling mama readers is this…….
Is this as good as it gets? Is this normal? Did I simply burn myself out before ## so there is nothing left for the next ## years?
Of course we cannot completely reinvent ourselves when we are mothers with responsibilities, homes, careers, and obligations. So how do you find yourself again while keeping up with the day to day? How do you get back the joy you once had? The excitment for anything ? I am afraid that I will always be this way and just slip into a routine complacency dawning a period hair do, and grey sweats. If you have lived this tale, and are not wearing sweat pants I want to hear from you. If you lived it and the out come is a life of heavy gray clothing then can you at least point me to the best place to purchase my own pair?