Whether you are a WAHM or a WAFHM , P/T, F/T , any time kind of mom. If you are trying to work, and take care of a family at the same time you are no doubt pulling double duty.This can be draining even on the best day which leaves you open for almost uncertain failure at some point.
keeping up this crazy lifestyle most of us lead this day in age, and only being equipped as mere human beings, we are going to forget a birthday, bom a presentation, leave the milk in the car or yell at our kids when we don’t mean to. Of all the things I tend to mess up, it is the moments I feel I let my kids down that hurt the most.
I realize that I am not a super hero no matter how I try. I get that I cannot be all things to all people. My name may start with a J but I am not that good. However there is something inside that drives me to want to be the best mom at all times. I live for it. I work for them, I try for them, I stress, and cry, and stay up late for those sweet little ones God gave to me. Unfortunately all these things I DO for them some how seem to get in the way of the mom I want to be.
Just the other day my Tan Man said to me “Mommy I want to play with you! You never play when I want” For the record the night before I was the best mom because I had spent the entire day living life on the whim of my boys and what they could drum up to do. He also had been playing the entire afternoon with some friends, and his father in a front yard football game. With the end of his game,and his friends leaving he had bounced down stairs while I was still working to announce he wanted to be further entertained. Since I was dreadfully working, and could not play at that moment I was now a horrible mother!
I new full well he was just fine. I cannot attend to his every whim all the time. I need to teach him the word does not revolve around him. But there I was a sharp needle sticking out of my heart. Part of me wanting to stop everything and and play with him. Especially because I was working. I felt like I was choosing work over him as I often do. I choke on the words “mommy has to work right now” But at the end of month the money I bring in is essential to our survival as a family.
This my friends is the great mystery of the working mother. How to make it all work and not feel guilty doing it. I think you are bound to feel that mommy guilt . I tell my self this must mean I am a good mom! Someone once told me if your kids are loved, cared for, and safe than you are doing a great job.
Maybe it is because I have never had the luxery of not having to bring in some kind of income? Maybe it is my view of what makes a good mom, or what society says is a good mom. But I some how feel like SAHM’s just don’t have to CHOOSE anything else over their kids. It is almost to me like they are the lucky ones that don’t have to worry about working so they must not deal with this guilt of putting something seemingly before their little ones. Even if it is to provide for them. I am sure they have their own brand of guilt, but this is our pitty party
I don’t feel I will ever get over this mommy guilt thing but I can say that remembering I am doing the best I can with what I have for today and my family is all any of us can do. I right this post not so much for those seeking to answer. I don’t have it I right this today for those who are there with me in the trench’s of life. I hear ya. I get ya. It is hard but from one busy mom to another I say if you can identify with this at all. You are probably an excellent mother, and some day your kids will praise you for all you have done for them. Even if they had to endure the occasional 15 minutes of alone play time while you finished your work.